(cheering) – Seventh’s not that bad. Plus, he just qualified
for the paralympics. Every four years, we
spend two weeks watching athletes compete for a
chance to be on a box of disgusting cereal
that nobody’s bought since the ’50s. Who wants to spend
two weeks in London? The food sucks, it’s
always raining, and no one looks like
Christian Bale. It’s just like Boston
with a big clock. The Olympics haven’t
been fun since ’92 when the Dream Team
destroyed every country they played by 40 points
and impregnated half the bitches in Barcelona. Yeah. It’s not a coincidence
that Spain suddenly started cranking out
beautiful mixed race ballers. The Greeks only invented
the Olympics because they needed something
to watch while eating their delicious salads. That’s why I decided to
get in on this action and do every single
sport in the Olympics in record time for the 2012
tosh point O-lympic games. – [Announcer] Here is Daniel
Tosh with an affinement warm-up routine that has
this announcer fully aroused. He loads into the
blocks in the historic tosh point O-lympiad
is under way. A ridiculously short
dash into the hurdles, into the high jump. He’s no stranger to
working the pole. Is it the shoes? Clips the crossbar. And waiting for him on
the pad is a wrestler. Let’s get it on. It’s over. Four gold so far. Can he make it five? Tosh floats like a
butterfly, stings like VD. Judo? Now he’s just piling on. (yells) It’s as if he’s been
training all morning. He looks dead. That’s gonna make
the rematch tricky. Time to throw stuff. He chucks the metal frisbee. The metal softball. Tosh races through
the field events like a ferral chested [Bleep]. Oh, hits his head
on the release. Can we see a replay? No? Okay. Forehand followed by a backhand. Then a two handed
backhand into a whatever the hell that is. A big shove. The judges aren’t
going to like that. [Bleep] It. YOLO. He clings it. He jerks it. And even has time to
get a quick nap in. This is where Tosh truly
excels, handling balls. Spikes the volleyball
right into a rented Camera. Water Polo ball fake
and a header for a goal. And look out, Dream
Team, because Daniel just brought the house down. Chalks up for gymnastics. And let’s just say
he powdered his nose for a little extra energy. Take that, G series. (whimsical flute) Just delightful. Suck a bag of tits, China. Bela Karolyi right out
to congratulate him. Must me nice to hug a man
and not a 12 year-old girl that will never have a period. That counts as equestrian? Seems like a stretch. Remember, nobody needs an
assault rifle for any reason. He’ll probably get a low
score because of that splash, but doesn’t seem to
bother him as he swims to the end of the pool and
right into sailing and rowing. And here it is, the final
leg of the Dan-cathlon. Yes, he’s done it. The judges are factoring
in time, distance, and degree of difficulty. Daniel Tosh just
made Michael Phelps look like a lazy bitch. What a great day for America. – I just completed all the
Olympic events in record time. Now can we start
football season? It’s the only sport
Americans care about. (cheering) I don’t know why everyone’s
so upset about blood doping. Makes sports so much easier. (energetic techno)
you knew the weights were fake, but did you know it was rubber?
that was hisn't acting that made it look hard
He looks dead.. Thats going to make the rematch tricky! Lmao
I don't like the Olympics, but that mash up was pretty awesome!
Not sure this qualifies as comedy.
impressive
classical one my dudes
Tosh is the Best
Thought it was "uncensored" you bunch of lying thieving bastards
meh
Beautiful mix raced ballers
Fake. Shooting isn't in the olympics.
Tosh.o just did all the Olympics sport lmao
curling?
“Suck a bag of tits China”. Hilarious
Suck a bag of tits China! 😂😂😂😂
I’d just like to point out that the depicted rifle he was using is many times more deadly than an “assault rifle.”
Why is this being posted now? It wasn't funny in 2012 and that hasn't changed. Not only this skit, Tosh has never been funny.
Do you like kale? Me either!!! You'll love The Saturday Crew ep 2…. Subscribe now
Oh my gosh.. they FINALLY uploaded this! Thank you cc
That baby bulge at 3:15
I love you for making laugh!
How tosh gonna talk shit about Boston we got some of the beat places to eat in the country! Kelly's Roast Beef, Mike's Roast Beef, Pizzeria Regina.. fuck you Tosh for talking shit about Boston!!
They meant the video they showed wasn’t censored
Duck a bag of dicks
Could pole dancing be in the Olympic games please?? That show needs better ratings…
Football!
Love the writers on this show. That commentary was top notch
has anyone noticed since the banning of PEDs black people arent good at sports anymore….nfl and nba are the only sports that still allow PEDs also daniel tosh needs to stop sucking the cock of every black person he can think of a POSITIVE joke about…aids
Remember, nobody needs an assault rifle for any reason.
"LeDaniel" and then he goes straight into the powder toss lol
I love how he did everything and did it so quickly lol XD (also I cant believe I haven’t seen people in the comments going oh my god he is so hot and sexy ohhhh look at that body. I am surprised y’all pervs didn’t do that yet. Wow)
That cocaine joke is a little too on the nose.
No Trampoline ?!!?!?!?
Wheaties are good
the Chargers need a field goal kicker, I'd sign tosh,
I'll bet hill better than the 7 kickers we had last season…🦄🔥🍍🔥🐙
Can we get a replay
I am 100% positive that’s how equestrian is done CORRECTLY
Tosh.0 was like H3H3 and Idubbz before those channels existed
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdMh4jv0LMo&list=PLd9knzlzpZp5G41YruM21zN2rU-iLXPzW
He’s fu King athletic
baseball was better when everyone was on the juice
winner winner winner winner
Your a salad.
#2018
Classic skit
Tosh I didn’t know you were part black????
Suck a bag of tits china
does anybody know that song at the end?
Hahaha i wish the real olympics were exactly like this!! Good job comedy central only took ya 6 years to post this, uncensored my @$$
Suck a bag of tits China
Impregnated every bitch in Barcelona lmao
Remember , no one needs an assault weapon, ever…🤣
Mongoloid* is what they censored @2:13
how did sailing count
Looks like a butterfly, stings like VD. 🤣🤣🤣
I wonder how much truth is in that comment he made about the 1992 Dream Team. Here it is 25 years later and Spain has top athletes in just about every sport, LMAO
4 pl8
3:05
Suck a bag of tits China
02:59
maybe his legs caved in like that, cuz he may have not had enough calcium in his diet . so his bones may have been weak at the time.
Whoa whoa whoa, Whats with all this censor stuff it said there wouldn’t be
Why was Mongoloid bleeped?
Theres a shit load of bleeps for "uncensored".
Back when this show used to be amazing
"…and impregnated half the bitches in Barcelona…" LOL!
Kept repeating 2:13 🤣🤣
Get ready ladies and invertebrates I’m gonna teach you how to do the sponge
That white boy got no ass.
That has to b my all time favorite clip..
The 'donk' when he hits himself with the javelin, pushing the ref over at the table tennis station, spike to the camera face and "…made Michael Phelps look like a lazy bitch…" LMMFAO!!!!!
Lol it was actually kind of impressive.
I am surprised he made that high jump…
Why is it fucking censored? What the fuckity fuck you fucking bitchass liars
nice to hold a man once in awhile
This audience sucks lol. This was brilliant, especially the announcers lines. Laugh more butt pirates!
“Suck a bag of tits China!”
3:03 does he say t series
he can tell the future
That was impressive
0:20
Jet whip!
at 3:02 did they say "take that T Series????"
How is this uncensored? There are bleeps, that's the opposite
Uncensored my ASS!!! I heard a beep in there
He forgot teakwondo and handball
I have my own version of the Olympics in the pool swim my fishys swim
His sketches are brilliant!
Did they say stop t series?
Imagine how fast this could have been done if a man did it.
He forgot baseball
2:08 where I left off
Dam tosh is on point with his skills not bad
12 year old girl that won’t ever have a period. Lmao
Yo, seriously, that shit was fuckin awesome. Beast mode 💪
(Uncensored) Tosh is the man. Rob dyerdek (how ever its spelt) is gay as shit
Yo tosh killed that shit on the low bra 🔥🔥🔥👽👽👽😂😂😂😂
Suck a bag of tits China
Daniel is funny when he's a chode.
At 3:24, he has an HK PSG-1. That like a $13k German sniper rifle. I'm pissed a liberal fruitcake like Tosh has a rifle I can only dream about owning. Now I hate him.
Daniel would be good at the Trump Balls Sucking event…Bernie Blows…Trump 2020
He gets to have a lot of fun.
😃